Father’s Day thoughts, and Dad fears

Dad Fears, who says a Dad cannot be afraid?

Parents are always worried and concerned about kids’ welfare and development. Parenting is an ongoing Marathon, and there are always new chores and worries. (Argh more white hairs spotted!)

Besides Love, Fun and Laughter, Disappointments and heart-aches are part of the parenting package. ( The Mrs had it worse, she is a full-time housewife) 

Although some societies might expect guys to be the breadwinner, or to be macho and tough, But we Fathers will have our weak moments too. Even when we want to be our kids’ Superheroes, we are only humans and can be fragile.

Parenting expectations
Parenting expectations

I have been a Father for 14 years, and yet the kids never fail to Shock and Awe me. They keep on adding spices (sugar, chili, pepper etc) to my parenting journey, life would be pretty bland without the little ones.

Do not get me wrong, I would not change anything to savour the joy, pride and happiness of Fatherhood. I would continue to beam with kids’ milestones.

Me and Mengchoo’s lives would be incomplete without the kids. But if you ask the darn kids, their Perspectives will always be 180 degrees different :p

Father’s Day is just around the corner. Kids should know that their Dads (and parents) will have Fears too, and everyone will handle fear differently.

1. Some of my Dad Fears.

-Fear of height (including high elements and roller coaster)
-Health concerns, am I able to take care of my family?
-Am I providing enough for the family?
-Fear of unknowns
-Fear of things which are beyond my control

To give an analogy of Dad Fears, Fear was always staring at me when I was preparing for my first Marathon! Yet, I preservered and completed a milestone. (to challenge myself, I have signed up for another 42km in Dec 2017)

It is ok to be afraid, but do not let fear paralyse us.

Overcome your fear and you will be ready to face the next challenge in life.

2) Unknowns, expectations, and parenting wishlist
-Do our kids understand that family is always behind them?
-Am I living up to kids and family’s expectations?

Do the kids know that we parents love them unconditionally?

Or do the kids only lament “Lack of Freedom“, because of embargo on addictions like Whatsapp, Youtube and games?

-Is our parenting style conveying the intended message across?
-Are our kids independent, resourceful and resilient enough to face their own challenges?
-Will they grow up to be responsible adults?

How will they grade my parenting efforts? Band 1, 2 or 3 :p

The only legacy which I wish to impress upon the kids, siblings must take care of each other. With parents’ best intentions, we can never guarantee everything will turn out fine (que Lee Family’s 38 Oxley Road saga).

Siblings for Life

To my kids, you can always trust me to act in your best interest, even though I am confiscating your Xbox again :p

To my Darling, thank you for being the reliable pillar to keep our family strong. You are my best partner in parenting.

To all the Fathers out there, soldier on and Happy Father’s Day.

Dads need not shoulder everything ourselves, it is perfectly ok to experience Dad Fears at times.



Daddy Matters campaign #ShitDadHears

Daddy Matters have a series (hashtag #ShitDadHears) , highlighting society’s discrimination for involved Dads. Headover to fb.com/DaddyMatters

We all hope our kids will one day appreciate our efforts 🙂

Daddy Child bonding at Dads Adventure Hub

[ Sponsored ]

Last weekend was a memorable day for me and Boon Yee (no3) at Dads Adventure Hub. We had signed up for a one-day Adventure Camp with Dad, organised by Centre for Fathering.

Daddy and son got to understand each other better through Rockwall climbing, Dark-maze, high elements and a (charred) BBQ dinner.

Daddy Child bonding
Daddy Child bonding

Our playground, Dads Adventure Hub at the Tennery (Junction 10). We heard this “playground” is sponsored by Far East Organisation, the indoor facility meant families can enjoy the activities 365 days, regardless of inclement weather.

After a few rounds of ice-breaking games. We got to know the other parent-child grouping better.

Ice breaking was designed for Daddy to know more about his child too. It was embarrassing that I did not know the name for Boon Yee’s best friend and form teacher.

Our instructor gave the analogy of a lost-child, if the parent cannot tell Police or School the child’s class, teacher, best friend, or hangouts. It would be harder to conduct a search.

Let me go through some of the FUN, and confidence-building activities at Dads Adventure Hub.

I got to admit, some moments were nerve-wrecking, especially when my 28kg Boon Yee belayered me (75kg) up the Rock WALL!

Dads Adventure Hub
Rock climbing Dad and son

Yee : ” Daddy, Sit on Harness, Lowering!”

1) I am not the only Dad who had doubts when your child ask you to “Sit on harness” and crew gets ready to lower you. In my mind, I was thinking “ARE YOU SURE? ARE YOU READY? ” in between perspiration!

You should see the Dads’ faces when they touch the floor.
** Relieved and Pride! ** 

Dilemma for some of us. We want our kids to be confident lads, but when we saw the little ones struggling with the rope (literally), and Dads dangling 5 metres up (cough)…

On the other hand, I need to try very hard to conceal my own fears, and instead give my boy a broad smile and thumbs-up.  It is optional but highly encouraged to shout “Good Job Boy!” haha.

I guess we parents sometimes over-protect our kids too. Or we like to underestimate (undermine) the child’s ability.

(Disclaimer– Do not start asking your child to diy-belayer you, we had safety officers and assistant belayers at Dads Adventure Hub to make sure everyone go back in one piece)

The kids generally had problems beyalering, due to their smaller sizes haha. As the Dads descended, kids started to float and harness would made their crotch uncomfortable ooops.

Photo below proved that we can always rely on our family and community to stand by us. (Hello Winston from http://blogfather.sg)

To be fair, I had belayered Boon Yee up too, my adventurous boy loved the climbing and dangling experience.

2) We both love the Dark Maze. It was so dark we could not see our fingers. The illustration below is not drawn to scale or even correct orientation, but it does highlight us as guinea pigs crawling through a series of obstacles before we found the exit.

Tunneling in pitch dark zone, “swimming” under thousands of balls, and gingerly feeling our way forward, upward. The kind Organiser even  planted some SLOPES for Daddy and child to roll-over!

Under such dire circumstances, Daddy and child had to rely on each other’s judgement and navigational sense.

Daddy empowering their child to Lead the way. In life, we would not have an answer for everything, sometimes we just need to TRUST our kids’ judgement to make their own decision.

Boon Yee’s summary says it all. Teamwork!
Be it Right or Wrong turn, we can learn from our experience.

3) If high elements are too easy, we can always blindfold the child. The child would need to have complete faith in his parent to guide him across the obstacles.

Dad : “Son, grab the rope infront, stride your leg to reach the other plank, balance yourself etc etc. This was definitely a challenge for kids and adults alike!

Boon Yee struggled initially, but once he got comfortable (and confident) with my instructions, he was able to navigate through the obstacles without any mishaps.

If we fall, just pick ourselves up again.

I gave him some confidence booster before we embarked on our course.  I hope I managed to convince Boon Yee that he can count on me and family for guidance and support.

Dads Adventure Hub

4) Hello Wake UP! Our sausages burnt already. Poor boy is tired after a whole day of activities.

JOKING, our chicken wings were burnt to a charcoal crisp too! The fault was mine (not Ah Yee’s) as I sucks at BBQ. I always manage to overcook my food #DaddyCannotCook hee hee.

In Life, the path ahead might not always be smooth, but we have to put in our best efforts!

Nevertheless BBQ was fun, give us credit for trying our best. I did remove the charred skin before sharing the otah, wings and sausages with boy.


At the end of the session, parents had to expressed their affirmation for our child. I am always impressed with Boon Yee’s Big Heart and ability to forgive 🙂

My Son Boon Yee, I love you.


A big shoutout to the friendly instructors and fellow Daddy child kakis.
You guys made my Saturday a memorable one 🙂

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

On a side note, Boon Yee made me a proud Dad recently. He joined me for a simple run, but I enjoyed his companionship tremendously.

My only wish for my kids is for them to be Happy.
If they are Happy, I am Happy 🙂


If you are looking for a way to bond with your child (in a structured manner), I hope you will find Adventure Camp with Dad challenging and fun.

I did not cover some of the events and activities, as I believed some suspense would be good for you to explore with child 🙂

Check out some other bonding activities with my kids.
– Boon Kang 3D2N (Farm at Koref), our hiking explorations
Taman Negara with Boon Wee, 2D2N Broga Hill and Sky Mirror with Boon Yee

Who is Daddy’s Valentine?

Who is Daddy’s Valentine?
This might seem like a dummy question, but I was that Dummy 10 years ago.

A group of Daddies (Daddy Matters) are penning their Love Stories in the run up to 14th Feb. I was going through some of the “handsome and pretty” photos from our wedding studio shoots from 2000.

Kids would be happy to caption some photos “Daddy pull your ear, orh-bee-good !”.
Studio shoot

Children always like to ask “How, When, What and Why”.
We adults sometime face the same scenario too, especially on matters of the Heart.

When Love comes knocking, can we use use Logic or Science to derive an explanation?
Is there such a thing as 缘分 (destiny)?

“WHAT” is Romance?

爱要怎么说. I am not Romantic.
We do not celebrate Valentine’s day (gasps).
And I did not even kneel to propose !
Man, we held our wedding banquet in our humble HDB !!

Both of us do not need 14th Feb to express our Love 🙂

After our marriage, it seems more pragmatic to celebrate our union everyday then on a specific day (which only makes florists and restaurants Happy)

We are alike in that we choose 面包 over 爱情

“WHEN” did I got to know Meng Choo?
“WHY” is she the one?

I got to know Meng Choo through my work.
While I was repairing PCs, she was my customer.

I remember her as friendly and approachable.
Meng Choo is frank and outspoken, sweet and unpretentious.
She always has a listening ear for her friends.

Then she left for another job, but I managed to grab her number from her colleague.
(If I did not grab her number, would there be SengkangBabies today?)

We enjoy each other’s company during group outings.
Before Facebook, we had ICQ then.
Online and offline, we became good friends.

Meng Choo knew about the girls I was trying to tackle, and would even offer suggestions on how to approach a girl.

It was after a few failed dates that I realised my foolishness.
There I was, searching high and low for the perfect girlfriend, and I missed the one right infront of me!

I have always treated Meng Choo as a good buddy, then I suddenly realised I have found a GEM (明珠 literally luminous pearl).

How should I approach her, how do I express my interest to grab her hand?
My heart flutters whenever I think of her.
Is she going to be my first LOVE?

Finally, I picked up my courage and pop the question “Can you be my girlfriend?”
Actually I ask something like “Can I hold your hand?” (shy).

On hindsight, Meng Choo already knew my intentions beforehand, but she still had her reservations. I was so Glad when she finally agree to be my Steady

Funny how Destiny will knock on your door when you least expect it.

“HOW” did Mummy Meng Choo agree to go steady with Daddy Andy?

Monthly anniversaries, milestones, missing you on the 61th day, we two love birds pen letters for every reason. A letter is so much more personal than an email, especially when we reveal it to the kids after a decade 🙂

Lovey Dovey and Mushy 肉麻.
love letters

Knowing that she is a 张学友 (Jackie Cheung) fan, I will memorise his lyrics and sing for her. Eventually, the song 今生注定 (translation Our Destiny in this life, by 王馨平/高明骏) defines our Love Story.

Click for song here.

We still safe keep the Love letters (not the Chinese New Year cookies).
Every letter, cartoon, and paragraph time-stamped and sealed our Love.

We do miss the freedom when we were still dating and enjoying our honeymoon.
Midnight movies, suppers, and holidays on the spur of the moment.


Till today, after 4 kids, I still cannot find an explanation on how we glued together.
Do we really need a reason for LOVE?

We would not trade anything for our Happy Family 🙂

Thank you Meng Choo, for always supporting me, even when I am unreasonable.
Thank you Darling, for making me a better man.

Let me be the man who will Cherish and LOVE you, Forever.
Happy Valentine’s Day

This post is part of a Valentine’s Day series, brought to you by Daddy Matters.

Checkout the Dads’ Love stories, we got 14 Dads for 14th Feb dedication !

01 – Nick’s game of Romance Kingdom helps him find his perfect partner
02 – Eddie’s spouse follows him to Bangkok
03 – Howard’s Love poem
04 – Darren 捡到宝了
05 – Andy could not see his life partner standing right in front of him (eyes got stamp!)
06 – Ken’s Love journey started on a Manila jeepney
07 – Winston and spouse talk about no Balls! *gulp*fierce*
08 – Patrick’s soulmate is the girl behind his success
09 – Edmund believes True Love has no ending 🙂
10 – David shows his daughter how a man should Love his wife
11 – Kelvin and Mrs experience “Life is unpredictable”, and are now soul mates
12 – Isaiah’s 21st Vday celebration with Klessis, and they still look so youthful!
13 – M is never alone as his darling (+2 boys) fills his heart
14 – Lucian’s home is never short of Love and Chocolate. Who needs Vday :p

On a side note, we will be sharing more about family life and Romance :
– 14th Feb this Friday on Ch8 1030pm 人气满屋2
The New Age Parents‘ Valentine feature, asking “Who wears the pants at home?

Video : Studio shots of kids 2009, all look so cute then !