Joining two other parents (Suzy and Dominic), Daddy got to share his views on parenting, Kiasu and Kancheong parents, and PSLE ! It was another fun experience, but it was tiring to go through the three hours session. If you noticed, Daddy was nervous throughout the recording, thumb twiddling, eyes blinking haha.
Interestingly, the parents share a few view points :
- We do not deny KanCheong (anxious) parents exist, but we do not see the need to engage in desperate measures to ensure our kids have a better start (no Tiger mum)
- We all enjoyed our Kampong (village) childhood days, catching guppies, spiders, grasshoppers, lesser homework then
- Although we are all reluctant, we agree PSLE is a defining milestone for the kids
- We wish more parents would allow kids to settle their own disputes in school, thereby learning about problem management and negotiation.
Over the few hours, we got to interact and share our views on four broad topics.
a) Challenges of raising child, are we Kan Cheong?
- Kids do not know how to relax nowadays.
- Every child should have a memorable childhood, and homework/tuition is not supposed to be our childhood !
- a good education and moral foundation brings up a responsible adult (hopefully)
- we only have up to pre-teenange years(maybe 12years old) to impart our our parenting tips, after that kids will be influenced by peers.
- we do not need our kids to be No 1 , but please do not be the last one
- we hope our kids will put in effort, and try their best
- We ask our kids to be Honest with us. Parents can then understand the situation better, and come up with recommendations
- In this Ipad generation, kids get their resources and knowledge everywhere. We need to show them right/wrong earlier.
- Kids in SG are fortunate. We do not understand hunger, or to sleep without a roof. How do kids learn to appreciate?
b) How are parents responding to Rat race education style
- try to introduce structure timetables from young, rather than cramped everything one month before exam
- tuition is a last option for us. Not because we like giving kids extra homework, but sometimes our coaching method might teach kids the “wrong” concept (eg Maths modeling)
- Kids need to understand the question, before they can answer it. Trick questions or a lack of English mastery, actually discounts kid’s proficiency in maths
- Teachers are also human, and parents must network together with school and teachers to help a child,.
- Too many parents love to complain, over the smallest matters. Let the teachers do their job, ie to Teach.
c) What was the parent’s growing up years? Did we have more fun last time?
- We send them to childcare because we need them to learn how to interact, sharing and taking turns.
- Kids learn team-building and group participation, rather than be self-centered.
d) Signs to look out for when kids are struggling?
- lying, and hoping nobody finds out. Our child will tell teacher he forgot to bring book, and tell Mummy no homework.The lies will snowball.
- suddenly losing interest in a favourite sports or subject
Instead of scolding kids, we need to understand what is happening in the first place.
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Our discussion are summarised into a total of 8 clips.
(click on the links below for the video clips)
Does any parents out there face the same anxiety as us?
In summary, we will let our kids decide their own schools, curriculum and paths, but we need to ask them about their rationale.
Kids need role models during their formative years, and parents just need to make time for the kids, to share their joy, sorrows and milestones