Is this a myth or fact? Are kids obedient by nature? Do parents really close one eye and let kids misbehave during their train rides? Has anyone witnessed the classic kids-banging-floor-or-rolling at shopping centers?
Daddy guess the answer depends on whether you are a Parent.
When we are teenagers or working adults, we always judge and ask :
– why that kid’s parents let him/her play SOC on the train swings!
– why the parents do not know how to teach their kids
– Why Why Why ?
Personally, we believe kids are active by nature. It is not natural for them to sit down, or stop talking. We can read them a storybook, pass them a smartphone or ask them to play scissor-paper-stone. But once they see another child playing pole-dancing, their instinct is to join the party π
Daddy and Mummy gets a lot of eyeballs staring (xiong3), when we take the MRT.
Daddy will smile back and secretly hopes the other party will suffer the same fate when they become parents themselves keke :p
We need to recognise that kids are active and jubilant by nature, they need to express themselves through words, songs or actions. If our kids sit quietly throughout his MRT ride, Daddy would be more worried. Is the child sick, is he ok?
However, if our kids get out of hand or become too rowdy, we will still need to warn them to behave or risk cancelling our outing. If necessary, we bring them out at the next station, so that they can calm down again.
There are always other scenarios on why kids misbehave :
– What about a child with autism? Can you imagine the stress and anxiety of his/her parents?
– Unfortunately, we also witness a lot of parents who depend on their maids to discipline the kids. We cannot outsource Parenting, period π
So to our fellow train commuters, spare the new parents your carebear-stares. Parents are resourceful and resilient, but the kids are always learning new tricks :p
As usual, we always urge new parents to be Thick Skin, ignore what others are thinking, do what is best for your child, yourself and your family.
We can only hope this phase will transit soon. Next stop “Seng Kang”.
If you are new to parenting, refer to our tips :
– why parents need to be thick skin?
– taking public transport builds confidence for that overseas trip
ps.. our tips and recommendations are more effective, if you leave your maid at home π
it’s true, I get more worried when Lil Pumpkin is quiet!!
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
I believe children need to express themselves and just let out the excess energy too! My dad is always controlling Sophia saying this is dirty, that is dangerous etc, which just leads to more frowned upon behaviour i.e. frowning. I usually allow her to do mostly what she wants, which leads to very dirty pants and hands and possibly falls and more crying. Oh well, can’t win, just need to develop thick skin like you say!
So, MRT become playground lor.
Better still, library becomes your grandfather’s backyard lor.
BTW, I’m 50 and have kids since 10+ years ago.
Thick skin, indeed.
I thought you might have some insights, but it seems the essence of your arguments for allowing rowdy kids boils down to the over-used “because it’s natural”. Who made you the authority on what is natural? If a toddler starts hitting another kid, do you encourage it since it’s “natural”? Is a child who learns that they should not disrupt other passengers unnecessarily, and only plays loudly in suitable environments, “unnatural”? And why is it you act as if other passengers *should* be subjected to the noise, pray tell? Is it because you are higher beings as Parents and others should understand the joys of watching a ‘natural’ child? That they don’t, is their fault, obviously, and they should henceforth make haste and procreate ASAP so they’ll also be brainwashed into the Parent-Groupthink.
What *is* it with people who think “you’ll think differently once you are a parent” and act as if it’s some exclusive, higher knowledge? From what I’ve seen so far, it’s the excuse people use when they have badly-behaved children that they – and no one else – smile indulgently at.
I have a nephew I helped brought up and live with. He has never needed to be brought out to be calmed down, despite how normal or natural you think that to be. He just needs a reminding “shh, think of other people” and you can see him make the effort to quiet down, even if he continues playing. I don’t need to smile obnoxiously at others; they smile at me.
I’m not saying anything about your children as I don’t know anything about them (except that they’re taught it’s ok to be rowdy on trains), but I couldn’t believe you had to encourage parents to be more thick-skinned than they already are and think yourself qualified to give tips.
Thank you all for your feedback.
I am using MRT as an analogy, but my objective is to appeal to society to show more empathy towards parents with young kids. Young parents are struggling to cope when kids misbehave, the last thing they need is judging-eyes.
Z: Good on you for helping to bring up a responsible nephew.
Looking at today’s generation (kiddos), the situation will likely get worse, before it gets worse. Hope they will not turn “Seow”s library-playground to reality.
cheers,
Andy