Father’s Day thoughts, and Dad fears

Dad Fears, who says a Dad cannot be afraid?

Parents are always worried and concerned about kids’ welfare and development. Parenting is an ongoing Marathon, and there are always new chores and worries. (Argh more white hairs spotted!)

Besides Love, Fun and Laughter, Disappointments and heart-aches are part of the parenting package. ( The Mrs had it worse, she is a full-time housewife) 

Although some societies might expect guys to be the breadwinner, or to be macho and tough, But we Fathers will have our weak moments too. Even when we want to be our kids’ Superheroes, we are only humans and can be fragile.

Parenting expectations
Parenting expectations

I have been a Father for 14 years, and yet the kids never fail to Shock and Awe me. They keep on adding spices (sugar, chili, pepper etc) to my parenting journey, life would be pretty bland without the little ones.

Do not get me wrong, I would not change anything to savour the joy, pride and happiness of Fatherhood. I would continue to beam with kids’ milestones.

Me and Mengchoo’s lives would be incomplete without the kids. But if you ask the darn kids, their Perspectives will always be 180 degrees different :p

Father’s Day is just around the corner. Kids should know that their Dads (and parents) will have Fears too, and everyone will handle fear differently.

1. Some of my Dad Fears.

-Fear of height (including high elements and roller coaster)
-Health concerns, am I able to take care of my family?
-Am I providing enough for the family?
-Fear of unknowns
-Fear of things which are beyond my control

To give an analogy of Dad Fears, Fear was always staring at me when I was preparing for my first Marathon! Yet, I preservered and completed a milestone. (to challenge myself, I have signed up for another 42km in Dec 2017)

It is ok to be afraid, but do not let fear paralyse us.

Overcome your fear and you will be ready to face the next challenge in life.

2) Unknowns, expectations, and parenting wishlist
-Do our kids understand that family is always behind them?
-Am I living up to kids and family’s expectations?

Do the kids know that we parents love them unconditionally?

Or do the kids only lament “Lack of Freedom“, because of embargo on addictions like Whatsapp, Youtube and games?

-Is our parenting style conveying the intended message across?
-Are our kids independent, resourceful and resilient enough to face their own challenges?
-Will they grow up to be responsible adults?

How will they grade my parenting efforts? Band 1, 2 or 3 :p

The only legacy which I wish to impress upon the kids, siblings must take care of each other. With parents’ best intentions, we can never guarantee everything will turn out fine (que Lee Family’s 38 Oxley Road saga).

Siblings for Life

To my kids, you can always trust me to act in your best interest, even though I am confiscating your Xbox again :p

To my Darling, thank you for being the reliable pillar to keep our family strong. You are my best partner in parenting.

To all the Fathers out there, soldier on and Happy Father’s Day.

Dads need not shoulder everything ourselves, it is perfectly ok to experience Dad Fears at times.



Daddy Matters campaign #ShitDadHears

Daddy Matters have a series (hashtag #ShitDadHears) , highlighting society’s discrimination for involved Dads. Headover to fb.com/DaddyMatters

We all hope our kids will one day appreciate our efforts 🙂

YES to Date Nights

Date Nights had long been overdue in our home 🙁
The kids have always fight for Mummy’s attention, and we got four !

Finally, the time is ripe.

Phase 1
[Daddy] : Ah Boy Ah Girl come, Daddy and Mummy need our own time ok, ON?

We persuade, bribe, compliment, and negotiate with the kids. They are bewildered for two seconds, then they go back to their games and TV programmes.

Phase 2
After the kids approve our rendezvous, we engage 奶奶 (Nai Nai) to help us look after the kids for a few hours. Thank you Nai Nai 🙂

Phase 3
The angus beef is succulent, the baby squids crunchy, the kangkong not too spicy.
We were at New Ubin Seafood (at Sin Min).
Ubin is a seafood joint, but the popular dish is actually the US Angus beef ribeye steak.

[Close your eyes, smell the fried rice, filter out the voices in your mind]

Now, can you imagine the freedom without the kids around :p
No fighting, no shouting, no pestering and no messy house, carefree for two hours.
We can focus our attention on each other, besides the damn good succulent steak.

So this is Date Night 🙂
Just like our courtship days, we savour each other’s company.


The kids did not forget to call us every 10 mins.
Kid : “Mummy, are you coming back already?”
To avoid annoying us, they take turns to call.

[Mummy] : Ok Ok, we are coming back soon, don’t call again.
(repeat the above cycle every 10 mins)

At that moment, Daddy and Mummy do not need candlelights to improve the romantic ambiance, 老夫老妻了, we understand each other. After a sweet two hours, the couple walk hand-in-hand back to the MRT station, moonlight shining our path, just like the old romantic days, 真浪漫 ♥

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After we have kids, our priorities have changed, “Parent” has substituted “Couple” in our vocabulary. We even address each other as “Mummy and Daddy”, what happens to “Honey, Darling, Sweetheart, 老公, 老婆“?

Daddy had hinted so many times to the children that parents need “Time off” to chit chat. We adults need to indulge in each other company’s in order to build a stronger family core. Only when a marriage foundation is firm, then our family can be stronger.

Kids will try their best to understand the logic for 2 minutes, before someone shouts “MUMMY, WHERE ARE YOU?” again.

[Daddy] : Whenever the kids ask me about my wishlist, I will tell them “more Date Nights“.

Happy Father’s Day 🙂