Confidence, one step at a time.
We blog about reassurance recently, remember our kissing post?
These “individualism” will surface when we teach them to cycle, swim or even studies.
It is almost 99% impossible to copy and paste one teaching methodology on all our kids.
Parents have to improvise, fine tune, then implement.
** Very much like software user-acceptance-test, except the steering committee is only you and your spouse!
Back to our topic on Confidence.
Boon Yee is undergoing swimming class, and he is facing difficulty with one task.
He needs to pick up the swimming goggles from the swimming pool floor.
To us swimmers, it is relatively easy, just dive head first, with two kicks and you should reach it. Depth is only 1.1m.
But when Boon Yee removes his goggles, he suddenly loses his confidence and forgets the “techniques”. Without goggles, Boon Yee cannot see, and he will panic if he miss the item in one attempt.
We always know his techniques and attitude (never give up) is there, but sometimes, he just need a gentle nudge, some confidence boost.
Sometimes, the best way to teach is not by talking, but by showing (有样学样), standing shoulder to shoulder with them. Daddy join Boon Yee one Sunday morning in the cold swimming pool, to train his “Confidence”.
Step 1 – Wearing his swimming goggles
1a) Easy peasy, Boon Yee can pick up anything which Daddy throw to the bottom of the 1.1m pool.
1b) After he has dived and “lock-on” to target, Daddy purposely shift the target.
Boon Yee becomes uncomfortable, as the goggles is suddenly missing, and he realised he might not retrieve it in one attempt (or breathe), and quickly surface.
After a few trials, his confidence grows.
1c) After step 1b), Daddy ask him to swim with the goggles at the bottom, and stay under for a good body length
He is now confident of handing “unexpected” scenarios underwater (where is the SOF application form?).
More importantly, Boon Yee knows he is capable of picking the goggles now.
Step 2 – Without his swimming goggles
2a) First few attempts fail. Boon Yee is very uncomfortable without his goggles.
Cannot see, cannot grab, panic again. His confidence takes a beating.
2b) Daddy teach him to squint (眯眯眼), so he can roughly gauge the direction and depth of the goggles
2c) Both of us are happy when Boon Yee finally pick up the goggles after a few attempts.
He can now confidently moves towards the next hurdle. Boon Yee has learn another skill in life.
No matter what obstacles we face, we keep on trying, never giving up.
Our kids know their Daddy and Mummy will always be there to support them.
We have no doubt that Boon Yee will progress further in his swimming lessons.
When he hit the next hurdle, we will remind him “Remember the underwater goggles?”