Daddy talks about Kiasu and Kancheong parents on Razor TV

Daddy went on TV recording again.
RazorTv is an informal media platform for SPH, and you get the latest video recordings about current affairs and sensational headlines.

Joining two other parents (Suzy and Dominic), Daddy got to share his views on parenting, Kiasu and Kancheong parents, and PSLE ! It was another fun experience, but it was tiring to go through the three hours session. If you noticed, Daddy was nervous throughout the recording, thumb twiddling, eyes blinking haha.

Interestingly, the parents share a few view points :

– We do not deny KanCheong (anxious) parents exist, but we do not see the need to engage in desperate measures to ensure our kids have a better start (no Tiger mum)

– We all enjoyed our Kampong (village) childhood days, catching guppies, spiders, grasshoppers, lesser homework then

– Although we are all reluctant, we agree PSLE is a defining milestone for the kids 🙁

– We wish more parents would allow kids to settle their own disputes in school, thereby learning about problem management and negotiation.

Over the few hours, we got to interact and share our views on four broad topics.

a) Challenges of raising child, are we Kan Cheong?
– Kids do not know how to relax nowadays.
– Every child should have a memorable childhood, and homework/tuition is not supposed to be our childhood !
– a good education and moral foundation brings up a responsible adult (hopefully)
– we only have up to pre-teenange years(maybe 12years old) to impart our our parenting tips, after that kids will be influenced by peers.
– we do not need our kids to be No 1 , but please do not be the last one 🙂
– we hope our kids will put in effort, and try their best
– We ask our kids to be Honest with us. Parents can then understand the situation better, and come up with recommendations
– In this Ipad generation, kids get their resources and knowledge everywhere. We need to show them right/wrong earlier.
– Kids in SG are fortunate. We do not understand hunger, or to sleep without a roof. How do kids learn to appreciate?

b) How are parents responding to Rat race education style
– try to introduce structure timetables from young, rather than cramped everything one month before exam
– tuition is a last option for us. Not because we like giving kids extra homework, but sometimes our coaching method might teach kids the “wrong” concept (eg Maths modeling)
– Kids need to understand the question, before they can answer it. Trick questions or a lack of English mastery, actually discounts kid’s proficiency in maths
– Teachers are also human, and parents must network together with school and teachers to help a child,.
– Too many parents love to complain, over the smallest matters. Let the teachers do their job, ie to Teach.

c) What was the parent’s growing up years? Did we have more fun last time?
– We send them to childcare because we need them to learn how to interact, sharing and taking turns.
– Kids learn team-building and group participation, rather than be self-centered.

d) Signs to look out for when kids are struggling?
– lying, and hoping nobody finds out. Our child will tell teacher he forgot to bring book, and tell Mummy no homework.The lies will snowball.
– suddenly losing interest in a favourite sports or subject

Instead of scolding kids, we need to understand what is happening in the first place.

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Our discussion are summarised into a total of 8 clips.
(click on the links below for the video clips)

1.1 Kancheong parents?
1.2 Social pressures = more enrichment classes?
1.3 Education then and now
1.4 Play time vs ABCs

2.1 How to save our child’s sanity !
2.2 Better and more quality teachers please
2.3 PSLE stress out kids, or parents?
2.4 Parents redefine success?

Does any parents out there face the same anxiety as us?

In summary, we will let our kids decide their own schools, curriculum and paths, but we need to ask them about their rationale.

Kids need role models during their formative years, and parents just need to make time for the kids, to share their joy, sorrows and milestones 🙂

Making Babies

Nope, Daddy is not going to talk about the act itself, as we are a family blog :p
Rather, the lack of babies and and how pro-family policies can be enhanced.

Money is always important (钱不是万能,..fill in the blank..不能), for childcare, medical, enrichment, education, food and other living costs. However, Daddy suspects that having a baby has become a “Lifestyle” choice.

A couple can travel anywhere, indulge in luxurious comfort but somehow along the way, having a baby becomes a liability. Career advancement will be affected, lifestyle will be curtailed, nobody likes to Sacrifice !

Naively, Daddy still choose to believe that “if a family is Happy“, more babies will come naturally. If we have to lower our lifestyle expectations, so be it.

In Singapore’s lack-of-babies context (or most urban cities), “Happy” is not a feeling, but the “assurance” that we have less things to worry about, when we decide to Ignore Durex have a baby.

“We wish to have a child, because we love to start a family.”. The last reason should be “I want a baby because of Incentive #A, or Bonus #B!”

Daddy’s wishlist are “More flexi-hours, pro-rate childcare leave aka the more kids the merrier, and paternity leaves”. It is way overdue for the Man to standup and be recognized as an equal partner, when it comes to parenting.

Ok, Men cannot breastfeed, but a strong Mummy and Daddy team will likely yield a stronger family.

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26Aug 10PM National Day Rallyour Prime Minister Lee gave us a peep into which policies will be tweaked so that (maybe) we will keep the storks busy.

1) Work life balance

2) Employer attitude – ok to go home early (not OT everyday)

3) Housing – priority for couple with young kids

4) Paternity Leave – PM admits it is time for society to stand up for Daddies

5) Medical – more affordable

6) Pre-school availability – nearer to home and workplaces, raising standard

7) Baby Bonus – Social ethos is more important than incentives

Hooray !! Bravo !!

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We keep hearing words like work-life balance, easier access to flats, paternity leave, easier access to good quality pre-schools. What is being discussed in Forums and workgroups ?

1) From PAP Woman’s wing

2) www.Population.sg is conducting a survey. Daddy would like to pro-rate childcare leaves, extra two days for every additional child. More Daddies can then have more opportunities to participate in kids’ school activities.

3) Mummy Ai Sakura is helping to encourage more Daddies to be active parents too. She is asking a few daddy bloggers to add a voice in her “Celebrate Fatherhood” article.

Daddy will be talking about how a couples get “promoted” to parents, and whether a Dad’s user-manual does exist :p
Stay tune for our article next Sun.

..disclaimer.. It does not mean only bloggers are good Daddies.

4) ChannelNewsAsia fanpage was fishing for some comments. Daddy wants local-attraction prices to be made more affordable. We are fortunate and grateful that our blog gives SengkangBabies a lot of freebies and privileges, but we sincerely hope more families can enjoy the Zoo, the BirdPark more often.

It is ridiculous to pay $100 for a family of four at the Zoo !
Our Zoo is good, but how many can afford?

5) PA has a dialogue too. Read their findings.

6) 早安您好 did it too, with Daddy as a guest, talking about how Dads can be more involved in parenting.

If all fails, remove the cinemas, iphones and internet access. When couples are in love, and they have lesser distractions, they do the “natural” thing.
Daddy hope Singapore does not have to come to this stage !