What if the man becomes a Stay-At-Home-Dad?

This week, Mummy (CEO and COO of SengkangBabies) is enjoying her Tom Yam in Bangkok with Boon Yi. Daddy has been delegated to keep the house in order until Mummy comes back.

A timetable tells us how Mummy runs our family with clockwork precision and efficiency.

Daddy can handle the kids relatively well, and he thought he understands how challenging it is to be a home-maker, that is until he steps into Mummy’s heels.

Making milk, showering, diapers, fetching the kids from school. Tasks are straightforward but it is a logistics-project to ensure everyone meet the timelines.

Between, we are not talking about house keeping, laundry and cooking yet.
HENG1 ah (lucky), 奶奶 is chipping in to help 🙂

… just imagine, how does nursing mums survive and thrive with lack of sleep? Dads can reduce some of Mummies’ stress, please read our Breastfeeding post.

If any parent ever wish to test their patience, try homework with kids haha. 陪读爸爸 is a tough job for Daddy. Mummy told Daddy to spot-check the student handbooks, in case kids decide to KENG1 (malingering). Yes, our kids are experts at bargaining and twisting their way out of homework and chores.

On the other hand, Mummy’s workload doubles whenever Daddy goes on business trips or even holiday reservist. Mindef can definitely help by allowing Dads to book in later (8 or 9am will be pro-family gesture) so that we can help to bring the kids to school. When Daddy last check, Singapore still need to make more babies.

Did you hear about the recent announcement that Daddies’ competence will be measured? What is BFI (Better Fathering Index) HUH? Daddy Andy need not be Singapore’s best Daddy, he just need to be the kids’ dependable Dad. Hopefully, the feeling is mutual :p

Daddy recommends…
All Mummies out there, book a 4D3N vacation with your girlfriends, and dump the husband behind. This is one sure way for the man to improve his parenting skills, and appreciate his 老婆 (wife) more :p

Here comes the dilemma, Daddy miss the kids when he is working, but to soak in all the family chores, and face the kids for three full days, is another story 🙂
Given a choice, Daddy would prefer to retain his Ministry-of-Fun portfolio, rather then to stay home and mind the kids.

Verdict : Will Daddy support Mummy for another 4D3N trip again? YES YES YES.

Daddy is amazed how Mummy bloggers still find time and brain-juice to blog at the end of the day! Daddy would like to take this opportunity to salute all the Stay-at-home-Mummies, your sacrifices are helping to build a stronger family! KUDOs !

For the guys out there, grab your Mrs, hug her, give her a peck, say some “sweet nothings”. If you need more parenting tips and gossips’ from Daddies’ perspectives, drop by Ai Sakura’s Celebrate Fatherhood series.
BlogFather Winston has a summary of everyone who has spoken out about the BFI.

… meanwhile, Daddy is counting down to reinforcement Mummy’s return.

Daddy talks about Kiasu and Kancheong parents on Razor TV

Daddy went on TV recording again.
RazorTv is an informal media platform for SPH, and you get the latest video recordings about current affairs and sensational headlines.

Joining two other parents (Suzy and Dominic), Daddy got to share his views on parenting, Kiasu and Kancheong parents, and PSLE ! It was another fun experience, but it was tiring to go through the three hours session. If you noticed, Daddy was nervous throughout the recording, thumb twiddling, eyes blinking haha.

Interestingly, the parents share a few view points :

– We do not deny KanCheong (anxious) parents exist, but we do not see the need to engage in desperate measures to ensure our kids have a better start (no Tiger mum)

– We all enjoyed our Kampong (village) childhood days, catching guppies, spiders, grasshoppers, lesser homework then

– Although we are all reluctant, we agree PSLE is a defining milestone for the kids 🙁

– We wish more parents would allow kids to settle their own disputes in school, thereby learning about problem management and negotiation.

Over the few hours, we got to interact and share our views on four broad topics.

a) Challenges of raising child, are we Kan Cheong?
– Kids do not know how to relax nowadays.
– Every child should have a memorable childhood, and homework/tuition is not supposed to be our childhood !
– a good education and moral foundation brings up a responsible adult (hopefully)
– we only have up to pre-teenange years(maybe 12years old) to impart our our parenting tips, after that kids will be influenced by peers.
– we do not need our kids to be No 1 , but please do not be the last one 🙂
– we hope our kids will put in effort, and try their best
– We ask our kids to be Honest with us. Parents can then understand the situation better, and come up with recommendations
– In this Ipad generation, kids get their resources and knowledge everywhere. We need to show them right/wrong earlier.
– Kids in SG are fortunate. We do not understand hunger, or to sleep without a roof. How do kids learn to appreciate?

b) How are parents responding to Rat race education style
– try to introduce structure timetables from young, rather than cramped everything one month before exam
– tuition is a last option for us. Not because we like giving kids extra homework, but sometimes our coaching method might teach kids the “wrong” concept (eg Maths modeling)
– Kids need to understand the question, before they can answer it. Trick questions or a lack of English mastery, actually discounts kid’s proficiency in maths
– Teachers are also human, and parents must network together with school and teachers to help a child,.
– Too many parents love to complain, over the smallest matters. Let the teachers do their job, ie to Teach.

c) What was the parent’s growing up years? Did we have more fun last time?
– We send them to childcare because we need them to learn how to interact, sharing and taking turns.
– Kids learn team-building and group participation, rather than be self-centered.

d) Signs to look out for when kids are struggling?
– lying, and hoping nobody finds out. Our child will tell teacher he forgot to bring book, and tell Mummy no homework.The lies will snowball.
– suddenly losing interest in a favourite sports or subject

Instead of scolding kids, we need to understand what is happening in the first place.

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Our discussion are summarised into a total of 8 clips.
(click on the links below for the video clips)

1.1 Kancheong parents?
1.2 Social pressures = more enrichment classes?
1.3 Education then and now
1.4 Play time vs ABCs

2.1 How to save our child’s sanity !
2.2 Better and more quality teachers please
2.3 PSLE stress out kids, or parents?
2.4 Parents redefine success?

Does any parents out there face the same anxiety as us?

In summary, we will let our kids decide their own schools, curriculum and paths, but we need to ask them about their rationale.

Kids need role models during their formative years, and parents just need to make time for the kids, to share their joy, sorrows and milestones 🙂