Dad Fears, who says a Dad cannot be afraid?
Parents are always worried and concerned about kids’ welfare and development. Parenting is an ongoing Marathon, and there are always new chores and worries. (Argh more white hairs spotted!)
Besides Love, Fun and Laughter, Disappointments and heart-aches are part of the parenting package. ( The Mrs had it worse, she is a full-time housewife)
Although some societies might expect guys to be the breadwinner, or to be macho and tough, But we Fathers will have our weak moments too. Even when we want to be our kids’ Superheroes, we are only humans and can be fragile.
I have been a Father for 14 years, and yet the kids never fail to Shock and Awe me. They keep on adding spices (sugar, chili, pepper etc) to my parenting journey, life would be pretty bland without the little ones.
Do not get me wrong, I would not change anything to savour the joy, pride and happiness of Fatherhood. I would continue to beam with kids’ milestones.
Me and Mengchoo’s lives would be incomplete without the kids. But if you ask the darn kids, their Perspectives will always be 180 degrees different :p
Father’s Day is just around the corner. Kids should know that their Dads (and parents) will have Fears too, and everyone will handle fear differently.
1. Some of my Dad Fears.
-Fear of height (including high elements and roller coaster)
-Health concerns, am I able to take care of my family?
-Am I providing enough for the family?
-Fear of unknowns
-Fear of things which are beyond my control
To give an analogy of Dad Fears, Fear was always staring at me when I was preparing for my first Marathon! Yet, I preservered and completed a milestone. (to challenge myself, I have signed up for another 42km in Dec 2017)
It is ok to be afraid, but do not let fear paralyse us.
Overcome your fear and you will be ready to face the next challenge in life.
2) Unknowns, expectations, and parenting wishlist
-Do our kids understand that family is always behind them?
-Am I living up to kids and family’s expectations?
Do the kids know that we parents love them unconditionally?
Or do the kids only lament “Lack of Freedom“, because of embargo on addictions like Whatsapp, Youtube and games?
-Is our parenting style conveying the intended message across?
-Are our kids independent, resourceful and resilient enough to face their own challenges?
-Will they grow up to be responsible adults?
How will they grade my parenting efforts? Band 1, 2 or 3 :p
The only legacy which I wish to impress upon the kids, siblings must take care of each other. With parents’ best intentions, we can never guarantee everything will turn out fine (que Lee Family’s 38 Oxley Road saga).
To my kids, you can always trust me to act in your best interest, even though I am confiscating your Xbox again :p
To my Darling, thank you for being the reliable pillar to keep our family strong. You are my best partner in parenting.
To all the Fathers out there, soldier on and Happy Father’s Day.
Dads need not shoulder everything ourselves, it is perfectly ok to experience Dad Fears at times.
Daddy Matters have a series (hashtag #ShitDadHears) , highlighting society’s discrimination for involved Dads. Headover to fb.com/DaddyMatters
We all hope our kids will one day appreciate our efforts 🙂