Sex Education is only taboo if parents keep quiet

The P6 boys were gathered together. Then gesturing to the genital area, our principal asked “Who has hair raise your hand”.

And that was Daddy’s own Sex Education experience :p

Sex Education
Sex Education

Discovery

Sex Education is not easy for most parents.
-How should I approach the topic, and my child?
-When is the best time to teach?
-What should we share? Tips?

Some parents are worried that kids will be more curious and start exploring. We share the same thoughts.

#TrueStory Son: Daddy are you having a boner?

Sub-consciously, I went into “Damage control” mode. My first reaction was to scan around and checked whether anyone else heard what my boy just whispered.

Walau! (Oh My!)  What did my son just blurted?
I was more embarrassed than angry.
Took a deep breathe, I need to be calm before I probed for answers.

Interrogation Investigation”

Bewilderment was an understatement.
Where did my innocent boy picked up this term? Friends? Classmates or YouTube?

He does not even understand what is a boner!
(Parents would know, kids always utter words which they are clueless about)

Very often, kids just parrot (repeat) what siblings and peers would say or insinuate, without understanding the word, or potential impact.

Need another example? My other kid also blurted “Bastard ” because he caught it off drama’s subtitles! (I gave him a scolding, but on hindsight I should listen to him first. #DontJudge ) 

The “Discovery” in Sexuality Education very much applies to parents too :p
We are also learning how to teach.

Image credit Google search

 

Awareness and education

Kids, it is normal to be curious.
Parents, we have been through the teenage stage too, #过来人

It is ok to ask Dad about new “sexuality-related” terms which you come across. Erections and wet dreams are normal and part of puberty.

At home, parents will decide who is the more effective teacher.
I will defer menstruation and sanitation topics to the Mrs 🙂
(there is a good video link with explanation below)

Teachers are another avenue to impart Sex education awareness to children. However, Consistency and Effectiveness will differ from teacher to teacher.

One teacher with 40 students, the message might not be carried across, and some teachers might just go through motion

If parents have their reservations about teaching, I am going to assume that not all teachers will be comfortable sharing Sexual Education topics on Powerpoint.

Parents are still the first (and best) candidates for teaching Sexuality Education.

Google, Youtube as Teachers!

I was a teenager before, and I would always chat and joke about Sex Education topics with classmates and friends.

If we parents need only one motivation to teach, let it be WWW.
If we are not teaching Sex Education topics to our child, they will pickup knowledge (and myths) from YouTube and Google.

Have you seen their mobile games and YouTube channels? With a few clicks on “Recommended channels”, kids might land on undesirable websites.

Facebook, Whatsapp, Snapchat and tomorrow’s apps are all harvesting our preferences and sometimes pushing undesirable ad (clickbaits) to kids.

Kids might form the wrong impression.
Example pornography demean female body as sexual objects.
.. and children (both boys and girls) are not safe from pedophiles.

It is not enough for kids to know more about their body and puberty, they need to protect themselves too.

Sexuality Education

MOE (Ministry of Education) call it Sexuality Education now, it was still “Sex Education” during my time :p

I would prefer to teach Sex Education to my kids in phases, look out for those teachable moments.

-When kids talk about kissing scenes
-When kids share Whatsapp photos of indiscreet photos, or those pranks
-When they caught hold of porn or suggestive advertisements on YouTube
-When 晚报 display a sensational Subject article
-When TV programme subtitles add a new word to their vocabulary (eg bitch)

Movies with so many F words (F uck). I cannot censor this word because it is so commonly mouthed by kids nowadays.

People will just add F to their sentence for emphasis. Not cool, but kids will think otherwise.

I do admit my training method is not really structured. But I am able to recycle my “training agenda” among the kids. As I teach more, the topic become more natural, and less awkward.

Some of the topics which I have covered for my kids at different stages :

(Puberty)
Body parts and change
Sexual reproduction organs
Penis ( instead of koo koo bird)
Vagina (use the correct terms for genitals)
Voice breaking
Hair growth
Wet dream
Molest
Behaviour and social norms (eg cannot anyhow touch others, no exposing of private parts in public area #WeAreAsians)

How to control emotions, and mood swings.
Anxiety about puberty might cause them to behave differently.

(Awareness)
Expression of love
BGR Boyfriend girlfriend relationships
Alternate lifestyle (gays and lesbians)
Kissing
Ejaculation
Menstruation (One good video here)
Erection
Pregnancy
Masturbation
Pornography
Sperm and egg
Abstinence
Protection (Condoms)

Where do babies come from?
Daddy and Mummy intimacy is one way to keep our love and family strong.

Additional tips

Our parenting style is to keep the door open, kids always know they can come back to ask parents about anything. Daddy will be frank and open with any topic.

Kids today are no longer as innocent as they look, they understand most of the Sexuality Education topics which I was covering. But they are not mature enough to comprehend consequences.

a) When should I start Sexuality Education orientation?
Before kids show signs of puberty. It can be around the age of P4 or even P3 .

b) External materials.
I do recycle some of the materials from Secondary School’s Sexuality Education. You may find more materials from MOE website

-> MOE Link (but the URL links keep changing)
-> Download reference pdf “Love them, Talk about Sex pdf” (link)

-> “Say No” video (YouTube link)

 

c) From my own experience, it will be awkward for both parent and child. Kids would be restless before we finish the session. It does gets better and less awkward with more practice.

d) Loving and Respecting our spouse
This is the best way to impart correct sexual attitude to our kid
(hope I did not phase it wrongly)

e) Keep the Conversation ongoing and engage the kids.
Sexuality Education topics are necessary and definitely not Taboo.

f) We do Sexual Orientation one child at a time, not in group
This allows us to understand our child’s individual concerns and needs

g) Instead of hourly session, break session into 20 30 minutes
Sexuality Education is not one time. Sessions are added progressively as the child matures.

h) No1 rule for parents – Do not be judgmental
This will surely turn the kids away.

I guess parents will never know how much does our child understand, or absorb. My kids are unlikely to score me on my effectiveness and I cannot ask them to fill in survey form (haha ).

Do you have more tips to share with us?

How do you make Sexuality Education session interesting and less tense?
Any parenting hacks to improve Sexuality Education effectiveness?

.. All images above credit MOE

OCBC Cycle 2018 with son and kakis

This morning, #OCBCUncle was dancing and enjoying ourselves at OCBC Cycle 2018. This is the third time #DaddyMatters has joined OCBC Cycle.

**David’s Floss Dance video is up, link at end of page.**

 

OCBC Cycle 2018
OCBC Cycle 2018

Smiling faces even though we are tired after climbing Benjamin Sheares Bridge.

We got opportunity to take nice photos with chiobu 🙂
.. but cycling and brotherhood is always our top priority.

Winston and Randy woke up at 0300 to complete their 42km route! (0515 flagoff)

Gadget King David has many fancy camera tricks to capture our Fun haha.

 

20km route for Straits Time route, I will be sharing why we got a discount. Otherwise, I would like to congrats OCBC Cycle 2018 for a well organised event.

Those participating 23km Straits Times Ride were flag off at 0700.

Participants queuing up, with dawn breaking in the background. We noticed crowd is smaller this year, perhaps this is exams week.

.. and DaddyMatters are ready to rock and roll again. Happy for Boon Wee to join me again.

Sun rising behind us, we prefer the Sun over Rain any day 🙂

Under Sheares Bridge (ie F1 Track) towards Singapore Flyer.

OCBC Cycle 2018 is our third time cycling with OCBC. And many folks are still fascinated by cycling up close to Singapore’s landmarks.

MBS (parallel to Helix Bridge) is the first hill for cyclists.

Video : OCBC Cycle 2018 Fun Cycling (YouTube link)

Cycling through CBD on dedicated lanes, we felt like Kings of the road.

Down and up MCE tunnel. This slope is where some cyclists will have to dismount and walk up the short but steep incline.

Making up for good time, everyone is chirpy.

Did you noticed the tons of Orange Mobikes cycling around us. Some cyclists are using Mobikes for the Sportive Ride 42km route too!

Due to time restriction, cyclists who could not clear Sheares Avenue by 0815 would have to detour to a shorter route.

It means you will not roll down Sheares Bridge towards Fort Road direction (and Youturn up Benjamin Sheares Bridge again).

We thought we had cleared the cutoff timing as we crossed around 0800, but alas Sheares Avenue stretches up till half of Benjamin Sheares Bridge!

.. we had to detour down Ophir Road towards Suntec City direction.

Image credit Google Map

First photo point for us, Benjamin Sheares Bridge summit.

We did some selfie.
We did some dancing.
I did not sleep on ECP (read OCBC Cycle traditions)

But we still had fun, and our legs were spared extra agony “crawling” up Benjamin Sheares Bridge twice.

But we can be considered fortunate too. Boon Wee’s pedal broke down and we had to Flintstone 1km from end point.

Hard earned Finisher Medals 🙂

As usual, we end our Cycling Tour with pratas.

I would like to share two OCBC Cycle 2018 related news too.

  1. [Sneak peak]

Some talented Daddys did Coincidance in 2017 (Daddy Matters clip link). Stay tune for 2018’s epic dance!

I can only hint now and share behind the scenes choreography.

Daddy Matters: The OCBC Cycle Coincidance

Some of us can really dance. Most of us though… #ocbcuncle #ocbccycle #coincidance.Follow us at Daddy Matters!h/t David Sim of Life's Tiny Miracles for all your effort coming up with this.

Posted by Daddy Matters on Sunday, 19 November 2017

In general, any movements which require “limbs coordination and shaking” is tough for Uncles. Especially when you have sore bums.

My kids gave me thumbs down for rehearsal #SoBrutal !
But the dads had fun relieving our childhood dreams again.

Man, this is serious. These folks will dance in the RAIN too!

.. and Winston doing Shampoo advertisement? I am curious how this will fit into our Fun video.

2. Updated 20180511

*Epic Floss Dance Video is up, thanks to David @LifesTinyMiracles blog  (YouTube link)

We Dads are not dancers but we sure know how to have FUN!

3. Did you know about OCBC Cycle 2018’s “Project Training Wheels session“? OCBC Cycle team had to train some folks to cycle from scratch, and hopefully most of them will be able to do 23 km 🙂

This is meaningful as cycling is a life skill and no one should miss the freedom and fun which comes with cycling 🙂

Project Training Wheels 2018 – Session #3

The final Project Training Wheels session had our participants taking on new challenges: Riding uphill & downhill on hybrid bikes. What advice do you have for our participants taking part in the Straits Times ride? Tell us in the comments below and stand a chance to win one of 3 Timbuk2 Tandem Pannier Bags worth $209.T&Cs apply: https://bit.ly/2I8lp8h#PSA: Mobikes are available free to all OCBC Cycle participants for the ST and Sportive Ride. Alternative bike options like the ones featured in this video are available from our bike rental partners.

Posted by OCBC Cycle on Wednesday, 2 May 2018

Kudos Dads! Although everyone is busy with work and family, we make an effort to come together for OCBC Cycle 2018.

Cycling is always fun with these folks (Instagram handlers) :
-Winston @blgfthr
-Nick @nickpan
-David @Doting_Dad
-Randy Lim
-Isaiah @Isaiahkuen
-Me and no1 @SengkangBabies
-Chin Wei

Meanwhile, me and Boon Wee (no1) will upgrade to 42km for 2019. If mobikes can last 42km, our mountain bikes should be good!

 

Do follow OCBC Cycle on their Website and Facebook for latest updates and photos. You may visit our Ocbc Cycle 2017 “Traditions” blog post too.

Follow SengkangBabies cycling adventures :
Blog – https://sengkangbabies.com/tag/cycling
Instagram #SkbCycles